Prison Mike Quotes :
The worst thing about prison was the… was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they’d come down and they’d suck the soul out of your body and it hurt! — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, biatch? — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
Well, there’s somebody I’d like you to meet, somebody else who has been to prison. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
I’m Prison Mike. Do you know why they call me Prison Mike? — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
Gruel sandwiches. Gruel omelets. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
In prison, you are somebody’s bitch. Oh, and you. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this compulsive need like my need to be praised. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
That has sort of an oak-y afterbirth. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
It is St. Patrick’s Day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
It’s Britney, bitch. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject so you know you are getting the best possible information. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
I… Declare…. Bankruptcy! — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
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I learned a while back that if I do not text 911, people do not return my calls. Um, but people always return my calls because they think that something horrible has happened. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
You don’t know me, you’ve just seen my penis. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
You know what they say. Fool me once, strike one, but fool me twice…strike three. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
You cheated on me?…. When I specifically asked you not to? — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
I have caused. It is because I hate him. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. — Prison Mike (Michael Scott)
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