george carlin quotes

Who Is George Carlin?

George Carlin was a famous American stand-up comedian who is considered one of the most influential stand-up comics in history. He mostly used to do comedy on deep topics like politics, psychology and religion.

George Carlin’s full name is George Denis Patrick Carlin. He was a comedian as well as a writer, actor and social critic. He was born on May 12, 1937 in the city of Manhattan, United States. His father Patrick Carlin was an Irish immigrant who was an advertising manager and businessman. And his mother Mary Bearey was Irish-American and worked in the New York City Police Department.

About George Carlin’s Life :

When George was two months old, his parents separated because of his father’s alcoholism. This is why George and his brother were raised by their mother. George gained dominance over the English language because of his mother. 

He was raised in a locality in Manhattan. Where his friends called him “White Harlem”. George’s primary study was completed at the Roman Catholic Corpus Christi School.

George Carlin
George Carlin performing in 1969

George further studied completed at Bishop DuBois High School and Salesian High School in Goshen. He won several drama awards by attending Camp Notre Dame in Spofford, New Hampshire. And then enlisted in the United States Air Force. Where he worked as a radar technician.

Along with this, George worked as a disc jockey at the radio station in Shreveport. In 1959, he met DJ Jack Burns while working at radio station KXOL in Fort Worth, Texas. The two became good friends. In 1960 the both gave a performance in California called The Sailor, Burns & Carlin. After that, they both formed a comedy team.

Young George Carlin
George Carlin in 1975

After that, both of them did a lot of comedy shows. Due to which his reputation was greatly enhanced. Even Carlin’s 14 stand-up comedies were filmed by HBO. He satirized mostly on American political and American culture.

He hosted The Tonight Show during the Johnny Carson era for three consecutive decades. His final comedy special was “It’s Bad for Ya”. The difference of which was that it was made in just a few months. George Carlin was ranked in the list of Best 10 American Comedians made in 2004 by Comedy Central. Also in 2017, he was ranked second on the list of 50 Best Stand-Up Comedians by Rolling Stone magazine.

George Carlin was posthumously honored with the Mark Twain Award for American Humor in 2008.

How Did George Carlin Die?

George Carlin
George Carlin in 2008

George Carlin suffered a heart attack three times in his life. His fourth heart attack occurred on June 22, 2008. And he died with that. At that time he was 71 years old.

Best George Carlin Quotes :

george carlin best quotes

Electricity is actually organized energy. — George Carlin

Sometimes we should talk to ourselves so that we can accept our answers. — George Carlin

Fighting for peace is not a bad thing. — George Carlin

Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you’re honest with them. — George Carlin

We must learn to read as well as ask questions. — George Carlin

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People’s planets are not bad, but people are bad. — George Carlin

Religion can also prove to be like drugs, which can destroy your thinking mind. — George Carlin

Atheism is just a kind of non-prophetic organization. — George Carlin

If they tell you you’re not a team player, just congratulate them on being so observant. — George Carlin

If you can’t speak well for someone, it’s best to keep quiet. — George Carlin

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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. — George Carlin

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. — George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. — George Carlin

A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.’ — George Carlin

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. — George Carlin

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Don’t sweat for small things. — George Carlin

I don’t want something that’s good for headaches. I want something that’s bad for headaches. And good for me. — George Carlin

Professional soldiers are people who die for a living. — George Carlin

Be careful with words. The same words that hurt can heal. It’s a matter of how you pick them. — George Carlin

War will end when people stop showing up for it. — George Carlin

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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. — George Carlin

Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. — George Carlin

People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think. — George Carlin

Everyone smiles in the same language. — George Carlin

Don’t just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. — George Carlin

george carlin quotes about winning

It’s never just a game when you’re winning. — George Carlin

There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. — George Carlin

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck. — George Carlin

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. — George Carlin

No art is possible without a dance with death. — George Carlin

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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. — George Carlin

The larger the group, the more toxic, as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. — George Carlin

Anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. — George Carlin

Hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. — George Carlin

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. — George Carlin

quotes of george carlin

Think off-center. — George Carlin

Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ — George Carlin

Sometimes a little brain damage can help. — George Carlin

The older you get, the better you realize you were. — George Carlin

A language is a tool for concealing the truth. — George Carlin

top 10 george carlin quotes

Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom. — George Carlin

No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you’re screwed because it’s all fixed and rigged. — George Carlin

Whenever you hear the phrase zero tolerance, remember, someone is bullshitting you. — George Carlin

I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better. — George Carlin

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Females create life, males end it. — George Carlin

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything. — George Carlin

If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it. — George Carlin

People are wonderful one at a time. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. — George Carlin

If you can’t say something nice about a person, go ahead. — George Carlin

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Today is another day. Because we have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. — George Carlin

Homemade is a myth. You want to know some things that are homemade? — George Carlin

I have this real moron thing I do? It’s called thinking. — George Carlin

I love people as I meet them one by one. People are just wonderful as individuals.  — George Carlin

Never sacrifice the beauty of the individual for the sake of the group. — George Carlin

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Be responsible for the consequences. — George Carlin

Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive. — George Carlin

The people who are motivated are the ones who are causing all the trouble! — George Carlin

The future will soon be a thing of the past. — George Carlin

As far as I’m concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that’s worth believing. — George Carlin

George Carlin Religion Quotes :

george carlin religion quotes

Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind. — George Carlin

The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. — George Carlin

Religion has what is easily the greatest bullshit story of all time. — George Carlin

Religion is just mind control. — George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music. — George Carlin

George Carlin Life Quotes :

george carlin quotes on life

We have added years to life but have not been able to add life to years. — George Carlin

We must learn to question everything. — George Carlin

Sometimes it happens that you will succeed even if you try to fail. — George Carlin

Today our house has become a place to store goods. — George Carlin

Your life is in the hands of your feet when your feet are on the brakes. — George Carlin

george carlin quotes about life

A group of stupid people should never be considered weak. — George Carlin

Everyone will appreciate your honesty as long as you are honest with them. — George Carlin

There is a frustrated idealist within every emotional person. — George Carlin

Remember never argue with a fool in life. — George Carlin

There is a funny side to every situation. But it is very difficult to find. — George Carlin

george carlin life quotes

Life is a zero-sum game. — George Carlin

Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away. — George Carlin

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. — George Carlin

I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! — George Carlin

When I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. — George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes About Politics :

george carlin quotes on politics

Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. — George Carlin

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. — George Carlin

Political correctness is the newest form of intolerance. — George Carlin

We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. — George Carlin

george carlin quotes about politics

Most people work hard enough not to get fired. — George Carlin

Where no one is present there is only an immediate future and a recent past. — George Carlin

Most people use language to hide the truth. — George Carlin

When someone drives slower than you, that man is stupid to you, And when someone drives faster than you, it makes you feel crazy. — George Carlin

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If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader. — George Carlin

Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. — George Carlin

A cat’s “meow” can be a “woof” for him. — George Carlin

If you think too much, you will be left behind by everyone. — George Carlin

If you can’t beat someone, arrange to have beaten him. — George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes On Government :

george carlin quotes on government

I don’t believe anything the government tells me. — George Carlin

Governments don’t want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers. — George Carlin

Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation. — George Carlin

A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. — George Carlin

The government doesn’t lie, it engages in disinformation. — George Carlin

george carlin quotes on government

The government wants to tell you things you can’t say because they’re against the law. — George Carlin

I believe the government should step in where the free market fails. — George Carlin

War will end when people stop showing up for it. — George Carlin

Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. — George Carlin

Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. — George Carlin

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Most governments do not want a population capable of critical thinking but want obedient workers. Which is absolutely wrong. — George Carlin

George Carlin Funny Quotes :

funny george carlin quotes

Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. — George Carlin

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? — George Carlin

I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free. — George Carlin

You can prick your finger … Just don’t finger your prick. — George Carlin

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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands. — George Carlin

I finally figured out what e-mail is for. It’s for communicating with people you’d rather not talk to. — George Carlin

When you’re born into this world, you’re given a ticket to the freak show. — George Carlin

quotes by george carlin

With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius. — George Carlin

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store. — George Carlin

What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job! — George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work. — George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes About Pride :

I don’t understand this notion of ethnic pride. — George Carlin

Pride should be reserved for something you achieve or obtain on your own. — George Carlin