Today Self-confidence is an important factor for our successful life. But today most people lack self-confidence. And so those people have to face failure. So how can we improve our self-confidence?
We are going to find the answer to this question from a book which is the 6 Pillars of Self-esteem Book by Nathaniel Branden. In this post, we see the 3 principal of the book.
About Fear Of Failure :
There is an English saying about fear: “The cave we fear to enter usually hold the Treasure we seek”. which means, if we want to achieve something in our lives then for that we need to take actions.
Actions are a must and we are aware of it but still, we aren’t able to take actions because of fear of failure. We have a fear of doing something new, fear of hard work and efforts and one of the major reasons for this fear is our lower self-esteem or Low confidence.
Hence it’s really very important for us to keep our self-esteem or confidence always high. So we see three important points to increase self-confidence.
1) The Practice Of Self-responsibility :
In 1967 Martin Saligemen did an experiment, in which he has given light shocks to some dogs. But before giving shock he used to first ring a bell, he has repeated this process several times.
Hence because of this what happened those dogs have associated that bell ring with shocks. so whenever Martin used to just ring a bell and he didn’t give them a shock, still those dogs have to behave as they have received a shock.
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This was the first part of an experiment. In the second part, martin kept those dogs inside a box type place, and that box type place was divided by one small wooden stick.
In one part of the box was a button, by pressing that button he can give shocks to those dogs. but the other side or part of the box was safe. so when martin kept old dogs in that button part area, those dogs lay down in that same part and didn’t even try to jump and to get into the safe part of the box.
If they would have tried then they would have saved themselves from that shock. however, when martin kept new dogs inside that button area, new dogs who haven’t received shocks.
They jumped to the safe side in order to protect themselves from that shock. Through this experiment, martin derived a very important theory. which is known as Learned Helplessness.
This teaches that Helplessness can be learned, we humans and animals learn it with the help of our life experiences. which isn’t good for many times, for example :
If that dog instead of accepting his situation, if he would have tried and if he would have taken action and would have jumped to another side. then he must have saved himself from that shock but however with his past experience.
He learned and thought that no matter what I will receive shock hence he didn’t even try and those dogs surrendered themselves in front of that problem without trying just by feeling helpless.
The same thing happens with humans as well, many times we take our situations so badly. and think that we can’t do anything about it, we treat ourselves as victims.
We feel that others have control over us and we can’t control anything, controlling isn’t in our hands. and we just can’t do anything we are helpless. but the actual fact is if we take 100 percent responsibility for everything in our hands.
And if we use our brain properly and take proper actions then we have the capability to change worst to worst situations and can make everything right.
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Hence even you should take the responsibility of things which are going around you, no matter if those things are happening because of you. just take responsibility.
You should have your life control in your hands and do take action. This thing for sure give huge success to you but also increase your self-confidence.
2) The Practice Of Living Life Purposefully :
Most of the people’s life is like a flowing river. in which they flow without thinking or without plans. they do not work hard or put the effort into the direction about which they have plan.
They just go with the flow, where the river of life is taking them. they are just moving there without thinking. and this happens till the time when they don’t see a big waterfall in front of them.
When they see the end of that river. they realize that they are about to fall. hence at that moment, they try to move out of that river. they try hard very hard to move to the opposite side of the river. they try to protect themselves but unfortunately, it was too late for them.
Maximum people in this world live their life on other people’s terms and conditions. they do what society asks them to do, they don’t have their own goals. they don’t have their own life purpose.
Because of which they go with the flow, they keep on flowing without any plans and understanding. but one day when life problems knock their door they fail to face it. even after try a hell lot of time.
They fail to handle it, and they blame others for their own wrongdoings. it was their mistake of not setting goals and moving without plans. hence set your goals, don’t go with the flow.
Don’t allow life or situations to move the way they are moving. do plan, what you want to do, how to want to do set goals right now at this moment.
Before a day will come when you will trap yourself in a big problem. and no matter how much you try. you fail to move out of that problem, and finally, you will fall.
3) The Practice Of Personal Integrity :
Suppose there are two men. one who only knows how to talk. But always fails to take action and never able to do anything good in life. on the other hand, there’s another man. who not only talks but has the courage to take action.
So according to you, whose confidence will be more? To practice, self-integrity means doing things that we say. means to take actions according to our beliefs.
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Having Integrity means taking actions according to your beliefs and sayings. and these things will for sure boost your self-esteem and confidence and it must for your confidence.
Hence always practice taking actions as per your believes and sayings. These are three principles from the 6 Pillars of Self-esteem book. If you want to read all principles of this amazing book then can buy this book by the given link below.
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